This has been the best year of my teaching experience since out of college (which has been 5 years). I am in a place where I can see myself staying for years to come. I have never been able to say this about another district or position I've had. Now as much as I love the environment, the staff, and the students (most of the time), my dilemma comes from being a Christian in a non-Christian work place. I want to get more involved on a personal and social level with my coworkers and have to a certain extend (more-so than anywhere else before) but there is still a gap.
One of things I love about this place is the friendliness of the staff. I have been invited to numerous outside of work events and have participated in quite a few, but am trying to figure out where to draw the line. I know that the rapport that is built among staff can sometimes taint how well a person is viewed or appreciated in the position in which he or she works which makes me feel that I need to "get in good" or be friends with everyone.
Despite that feeling, I have declined some events simply because of the focus on a lot of drinking and people getting a little wild without spuses present (yes...this seems to be the favored form of entertainment for teachers...sadly.) And even when the event is not going to center around drinking, the conversation and atmosphere is not one that I feel comfortable taking part in as a Christian. I know there is no clear-cut answer for how much outside of work time one should spend with their coworkers, but I feel obligated to do some socializing outside at some points because it is almost expected in this school/community. What people did at so-and-so's house or bar or wherever is the topic of conversation often which I am opting out of for this time, though it is not easy to be different.
I don't feel that people understand why I say no thanks unless I make an excuse of having something else going on which conflicts with the invitation. I know I shouldn't always have to make an excuse and should be able to stand bravely in my faith, but truthfully it is one of the hardest things for me to do.
Plus...shouldn't we all be sick of each other after working in each other's faces all day? I'm ready to get out of here and see Mike, watch T.V., hang out with friends (that I don't work with!), go running, plan the wedding, anything but work related stuff!
On the other hand, I do sometimes want to get to know these people better as I will be working closely with them for the next how many years (and they're not all wild alcoholics!) ;) I guess I just am working on finding the balance between my life outside of work and living at work.
3 comments:
Jessica,
Stand firm. You can do it. Sometimes, just saying "that's not my scene" can be okay. It's not you judging them, you're just sayint that you don't really like to do that. Maybe, when asked to do something that you don't really want to do, you can say no, but hey want to go get coffee next week after work - suggest something else. AND do not feel guilty (and I am not saying that you are) about having a life outside of the school. That's HEALTHY! Are things going okay?
Thank you! I know I can, and I have said no to a lot of events but I think what I am feeling is that woo personality coming through, where I want everyone to like me. I need to get over it. But, yes, things really are going well. There are some people that I feel pretty good about and am thankful to work with.
Jes I can totally relate to this post! I have that woo personality too - and it is tough in a work environment where not everyone (or maybe no one at all) shares the same values and faith as you.
I am struggling with finding the balance. I wonder if my co-workers have noticed that I am the only one out of them all who doesn't swear all the time, or who doesn't go out and get wasted each weekend. I'm sure they do see that difference...I'm just working on letting them know where that difference comes from! Hang in there girl!
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