No Charlie Brown Tree For Us!

Awww...our first Christmas together....time to cozy up together, roast chestnuts on the open fire...and try to chop down the largest pine tree we can find in hopes of having even more Christmas cheer than ever before! Yes, Mike and I decided the best way to get into the Christmas spirit was to cut down our own Christmas tree! So we did. Let me tell you the story....

On a cool Saturday morning a week or so ago, Mike and I headed out with my trusty (and rusty) old Bonneville towards southern Lakeville where a place grows pine trees for people like us who enjoy the manual and back-breaking labor involved in sawing (with a dull blade) a tree to take home to be our very own for Christmas. After marching back and forth through the lines of trees and shaking our heads at how the trees have shrunk since we were young, we stopped in awe of the last standing giant pine that we knew would be ours. Making it ours was harder than we had anticipated.

One hour later, covered in pine needles, sap and dirt from the lying on the ground, we heaved and hoed (pausing for breaks often) our very large fallen tree. Ignoring the stares and comments, "Look at that tree!" and "Oh, my!" We continued our drudging until we made it to the check out line. "Oh, you won't be getting that bailed!" The woman behind the counter chuckled. "Do you have a truck or trailer?" Was her next question to which Mike responded, "We have a Bonneville?" When she asked with a puzzled” Is that a car?!" we knew that we had made some kind of terrible mistake.

When we confirmed that the Bonneville was indeed a car and that we really were going to attempt strapping it to the roof and driving all the way home with its large and loose bows hanging over the sides of the car, we were met with raised eyebrows. Trying to be friendly and masking their looks of disbelief at our ignorance in proper tree hauling vehicles, a couple men helped us situated the tree on the roof of the car.

While other couples and families happily buzzed in and out of the lot in minutes with their little trees, Mike and I mumbled to ourselves as we determined to get this thing secured and home. We picked it. It was ours. We were taking it home!

After a half an hour or so, tree loaded and tied, we maneuvered through the ropes into our positions for the ride home. I drove as slowly as possible while Mike held on to the somewhat loose ropes, hanging on them with his body weight to keep the tree from slipping off to the side or completely flipping off the top of the car as we drove 4o miles an hour up 35W. We tried not to make eye contact with the staring eyes that passed us. We made it home in one piece!

Unloading and getting this baby into her stand was the next endeavor. After another hour or so of more cutting and shop-vac-ing the stores of dead needles in the bows (It was also too big to fit into the tree shaker...thus about 10 pounds of needles were lodged within Big Bessy's branches.) we were ready to get her in the house.

You can imagine how fun it was to try to pull and push her through the front door.

We did get her in...finally. Now she was standing in our living room and we were tired but proud to have stuck it out.

The next morning, I woke up early and decorated to the hilt. Bows, lights, ornaments, bulbs, and beads. The tree was looking good and just in time too because we were expecting company in an hour.
Have you seen National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation?...So you know what a large tree falling in the living room looks and sounds like...A loud crash of tree, needles, lights, water, sap and ornaments hitting the ground, running into the carpet was the culmination of our tree experience. For a moment I understood the Grinch and his feelings toward Christmas. But then, we redecorated, vacuumed, and put on our smiles for our guests.